Next year,can I become person who can be exemplified ?

Wow,I have passed 1 year in smansa.
Never thought that the time will passed so quickly,I never count the days I studied in smansa,and the one thing that I'm afraid of is that I haven't prepare anything to face the reality of becoming an eleventh grader,which in this grade all of the events in smansa (Majorly) will become the responsbility of me and my friends as an eleventh grader,When I was a tenth grader I always said to myself (especially when we made AKSI 33 Eternity) "wow,kok bisa sih anak SMA bikin acara sebesar ini ?",but now it's time for me to do the action,become Independent,become a reliable person.

Many Seniors of mine in smansa told me that they said something same to themself when they were at tenth grade "kok bisa ya bikin acara sebesar ini ?","kok bisa ya kakak2 kelasnya hebat-hebat banget ?" Yes,They did.
Well,It makes me relieved a bit,but still I haven't prepare anything,just an experience and a will for the next year

But what I really excited about is I will have a junior ! I'm just curious about their attitude,inteligence,credibility,or else,can they become a great regeneration? or the opposite ?
because I felt that I can't become a great regeneration of my great senior,at least not as good as them,well I always learn from their behavior and act,but still it's just too hard to mimic their good trait,they are just too good
My Admirance of my senior started when the MOPD was held,Their arguments which can direct my paradigm into the opposite way,Their "wow" action,Their Attitude,everything.
You can say that I'm just over-admired them,but yes it's true,I never found any figure which can be exemplified in other school except in smansa,they makes me motivated to learn more to become an useful person,just by saw their action.

Well honestly,there is a few trait of them that I don't like,but they're a human,not a perfect,robotic being
I feel that I was Underestimated by the senior,maybe because some of my behavior in the informal activity which embarassing,but HEY ! it's informal,don't link that with a formal event,organization,or any other formal thing,don't judge that my behavior affects my performance at the organization,but that's the only thing that I don't like,that the only thing which makes me that i'm an useless person,but still there're so much that I can learn last year,an unforgettable experience,a life skill which I never got before in any other place

I hope I could be a senior which can be exemplified by my junior next year
I wish I can become a great senior,just like my seniors in smansa


That's the only thing which I want to write now,yeah I know it's boring but I just write this for my self-introspection